I am Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I kill evil things. I fight with weapons. I wear pretty things. Today I met Spike. I cannot resist the sinister attraction of his cold and muscular body. After Spike kissed me he took me to his crypt. Meanwhile, the other not so pleasant Buffy was talking to her Watcher, Giles. She felt that she could not love anymore. But Giles said she was being foolish but if she wanted, he could help her go on a quest. While the other Buffy was on her quest, I had sex with Spike lots of times. And lots of different ways. I made sketches. Finally Spike fell asleep so I went out to slay. Spike must have missed me since he quickly caught up to me. He was wearing his coat. I was talking to my friend Anya, who likes money and Xander, who is a carpenter. We then slayed some evil vampires but I was not satisfied so Spike, being a good boyfriend, satisfied me right there. We then went back to his crypt so he could satisfy me some more. My friends saw me having sex with Spike and thought I went crazy but I do not think I am crazy. All my systems are normal. While I was pleasuring Spike, someone decided to visit us. Spike told me to wait downstairs until he came to get me. I waited like he said, but then I missed him so I went to look for him. I tried my friend Xander's apartment but he was not there. Willow was. She is my best friend and recently gay. Then Xander came in and told me that Glory had Spike. I told them we must get him back. We went to my house to get weapons. While we were at my house, the other Buffy came back from her quest. She said that death was her gift. The first slayer also told her she was "full of love" and should "love, give, forgive" but she did not tell that to everyone. The other Buffy thought I was a robot. I do not think I am a robot. But I am very pretty. They all began talking but I had to remind them that they were forgetting the most important thing. Glory has Spike and she is going to harm him. So we all went to find Spike. We found Spike at Glory's apartment building. He was covered in sexy wounds from being tortured by Glory but then I fell down and I do not remember anything. Later, the other Buffy went to check on Spike to make sure he did not tell Glory who the key was. I know but Willow made sure to tell me that I must never tell Glory who the key is. I hope the other Buffy does not kiss Spike. He is my boyfriend and only I should give him pleasure.