[ Lie To Me Quotes ] [ Drusilla ]: What will your mummy sing when they find your body? [ Drusilla ]: My dear boy's gone all away, hasn't he? To her. Your heart stinks of her. Poor little thing. She has no idea what's in store. [ Giles ]: Alright, alright, I put myself in your hands. [ Jenny ]: That sounds like fun. [ Cordelia ]: I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed. [ Xander ]: I think you mean 'oppressed'. [ Cordelia ]: Whatever. They were cranky. So they're, like, 'Let's lose some heads'. Uhhh! That's fair. And, and Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake! [ Xander ]: If Angel's doing somethin' wrong, I wanna know. 'Cause it gives me a happy! [ Xander ]: Aw, you just need cheering up. And I know just the thing! Crazed dance party at the Bronze! [ Buffy ]: I dunno. [ Xander ]: Very calm dance party at the Bronze? Moping at the Bronze. [ Buffy ]: It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song 'I Touch Myself'. Of course, I had no idea what it was about. [ Ford ]: Would I be imposing? [ Xander ]: No, only in the literal sense. [ Xander ]: This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my friends! Jeez, doesn't she know any fat guys? [ Willow ]: Oh, that's what that song is about?! [ Willow ]: That's Angel. [ Xander ]: He's Buffy's beau. Her special friend. [ Ford ]: He's not in school, right? He looks older than her. [ Xander ]: You're not wrong. [ Ford ]: Whoa! Cold hands! [ Xander ]: You're not wrong. [ Willow ]: See, you made him do that thing where he's gone. [ Buffy ]: Um uh, there was a, a cat. A cat here, and, um, then there was a-another cat and they fought. The cats. And then they left. [ Ford ]: Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire. [ Buffy ]: What? Whating a what? [ Ford ]: A couple more days and we'll get to do the two things every American teen should have the chance to do: die young, and stay pretty. [ Willow ]: I'm so the 'Net girl. [ Willow ]: Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't wanna hear, do you promise not to bite me? [ Angel ]: Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin' guilty. I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy. [ Buffy ]: Are you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this. [ Giles ]: You are not, by any chance, betraying your secret identity just to impress, um, cute boys, are you? [ Xander ]: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one. [ Angel ]: Could you *not* call me that? [ Willow ]: Okay, but do they really stick out? [ Xander ]: What? [ Willow ]: Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'Wow! That baby is sore!'. [ Xander ]: You have too many thoughts. [ Chantarelle ]: Don't be ashamed! It's cool that you're open to it. We welcome anyone who's interested in the Lonely Ones. [ Willow ]: The Lonely Ones? [ Angel ]: Vampires. [ Xander ]: Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones. [ Chantarelle ]: So many people have that misconception. But they who walk with the night are not interested in harming anyone. They are creatures above us. Exalted! [ Angel ]: You're a fool. [ Giles ]: Uh, honestly, I, I've always, I've always been interested in, in, uh, monster trucks. [ Buffy ]: You took him to monster trucks? [ Jenny ]: I thought it would be a change! [ Giles ]: Um, she's called Drusilla, a sometime paramour of Spike's. She was killed by an angry mob in Prague. [ Buffy ]: Well, they don't make angry mobs like they used to, 'cause this girl's alive. I saw her with Angel. [ Spike ]: The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one. Oh, I'm sorry baby. I'm a bad, rude man. [ Spike ]: Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers? [ Ford ]: I wanna be like you. A vampire. [ Spike ]: I've known you for two minutes, and I can't stand you. I don't really feature you livin' forever. Can I eat him now, love? [ Angel ]: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was an obsession of mine. She was pure and sweet and chaste. [ Buffy ]: And you made her a vampire. [ Angel ]: First I made her insane. Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon. [ Xander ]: Angel was in your bedroom? [ Willow ]: Ours is a forbidden love. [ Chantarelle ]: This is a beautiful day. Can't you see that? [ Buffy ]: What I see is that, right after the sun goes down, Spike and all of his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar. [ Diego ]: She's an unbeliever. She taints us. [ Buffy ]: .. and, my God, could you have a dorkier outfit? [ Ford ]: I gotta back her up, D. You look like a big ninny. [ Spike ]: When we get there, everybody spread out. Two men on the door, first priority's the Slayer, everything else is fair game, and let's remember to share, people. [ Buffy ]: Now you let everyone out, or your girlfriend fits in an ashtray. [ Buffy ]: Does it ever get easy? [ Giles ]: You mean life? [ Buffy ]: Yeah. Does it get easy? [ Giles ]: What do you want me to say? [ Buffy ]: Lie to me. [ Giles ]: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after. [ Buffy] : Liar. [ back ]